How do i find love again, when i just dont believe?

I went to a catholic school, primary n secondary n tho im not a practising catholic, i believe in fidelity. Ive fallen for 8 girls in my life during school n college n my feelings have never been returned, i blame it on my weight as otherwise we would get on great but they just mustnt of fancied me. I was bullied in primary schools n been beaten up for being fat before. The worst heartache was when i was 20 i fell in love wiv a friend who was a girl in college, she was19. We did eveyrthing together n were very close, held hands, cuddled, used to kiss (just pecs). People would ask are you dating her? She got alot of attention frm guys. After 18 months, we were coming 2end of college, i couldnt take it anymore n told her i loved her MORE than mates. She reciprocated n we made love, i told her she was my 1st. I was so happy! She told me she didnt want2 see me next day saying she had something special with sum1 else she met. 2me we were special! She ignored my calls. 28 n balding now! ugly